Of Wolves and Regrets
by bree1387
Summary: Harper tried to warn Beka and Dylan about Bobby. They should have listened. Now, he will pay the price. Harper angst, attempted rape. Not slash. [One Shot]


Title: Of Wolves and Regrets

Author: Megan (bree1387)

Spoilers: Be All My Sins Remembered

Category: Harper angst/friendship

Rating: R (language, attempted rape)

Archive: Just let me know first!

Authors Note: After watching BAMSR for the 50th time during the summer, this little idea popped into my twisted little mind and wouldnt go away until I did something about it. This story starts half way through BAMSR, and continues from there in a different direction.

Warning: This story contains scenes of attempted RAPE and has a dark undertone (but does get happier!). I dont for one minute believe Bobby would have done this, but Ive tried to make it believable.

Feedback: Id love feedback! I already have another idea for another Harper angst story. Youve been warned multiple times about the disturbing scenes, so if you flame me for it, Ill laugh at you and then use them to warm my house (this is Canada!)

Disclaimer: I dont own these characters, Gene Roddenberry does.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Dylan felt an indescribable rage flood through him as he watched the sad excuse for a man, Bobby Jensen, run his hands down the young mans body. From his vantage point under the deck grating, he could only see the engineers back, but it was more than enough to know what was going on.

He should have listened. His engineer had tried to warn him. Hed said over and over Bobby was not to be trusted. That Beka was too loyal for her own good, even to scum. The recording should have been enough. Bobby had struck Harper. And what did he do? Joke. It was not a hard hit, but a hit none the less. If Tyr or Beka had been the ones warning him, he would have listened. Why not with Harper? Was it his young age? The fact he never seems to take anything seriously? Or maybe because he always exaggerates everything? Either way, Harper was paying the price. In a way so was he.

He could only sit there helpless as Bobby Jensen raped Harper.

Hey! he yelled for all he was worth, trying to sound as authoritative as possible. Get your filthy hands off my crew member!

A gauss gun being charged behind him drew his attention from the scene. Bobbys current girlfriend, what was her name? He didnt bother to try and remember, was pointing the gun at his forehead, a smirk gracing her dark lips.

Id be careful if I was you. Angering Bobbyll only make it worse for your little friend over there. She accentuated her I-could-care-less tone by loudly snapping her gum. A whimper from the front of the ship drew his eyes back.

Bobbys large hand gripped the back of Harpers head like a vice, while he enveloped the young mans lips in a crushing kiss. Harper whimpered again and tried futilely to pull away. Once Bobby released him, he turned his head away and said in an unsteady voice, Get the hell away from me, you sick freak.

Inside, Dylan cheered. The sharp sound of flesh hitting flesh made his blood boil. Hey! When I get out of here...

Youll what? Say anything more and youll be breathing through your forehead. Im the one with the gun.

Weapons dont necessarily make someone powerful.

Yeah, like I care.

So youre going to stand there and let your boyfriend force himself onto another person?! You must not be very important to him.

Hey! He loves me! He just has needs that I cant satisfy for him. Someone like you couldnt possibly understand, she sneered.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Seamus Zelazny Harper. Been a long time, Bobby drawled as he came up behind the engineer.

Not long enough, Harper shot back. Now why dont you do yourself a favour and let us go before Andromeda gets here and blows you to hell.

Some things havent changed, kid. Youve still got a helluva mouth on ya. But other things have. He slowly raked his eyes over Harpers body, starting at his feet and working his way up. I can see time has been kind to you. He inched closer with every word, until Harper could smell the stink of his breath

Hasnt been kind to you, he scoffed. Bobbys eyes flashed dangerously, but he didnt strike him. Not yet.

When I first saw you, I knew there was something special about you, and given time Id grow to like you. You were a scrawny, foul smelling mudfoot, but still one hell of a prize. Then Beka ruined it. Kicked me off the Maru and let you of all people stay. Well guess what. Now I have my chance. And this time, no one is going to ruin it.

Screw. You.

Actually, Bobbys lips were inches from his. Itll be the other way around. Pressing the palms of his hands to the young mans chest, he applied enough pressure to feel the heat of his body through his thin shirt. He dragged his hands down his sides and brought them to rest on his stomach, inches from the waist of his pants.

Harper shut his eyes tightly. This is not happening. This is not happening. Beka would protect him from Bobby like last time. Throw him off the ship. Somewhere in the distance Dylan was yelling. But at who? The feeling of hot lips pressing into his encompassed his world. A whimper escaped his throat. Dylan yelled again. Where was Beka? His mouth was harshly released. What would Beka do in a situation like this? She wouldnt take this kind of crap. He spoke. Of what he wasnt sure, but a sharp pain followed, which was accompanied by another yell in the distance.

o-o-o-o-o-o

He didnt know whether to yell or cry. There was nothing he could do to help Harper. The young man squirmed, trying to get as far away from Bobby as the bonds on his wrists would allow. His hands slowly turning blue from the lack of circulation. Dylan couldnt hear what Bobby was saying to Harper, but he knew it couldnt be pleasant.

Bobby slid his rough hands under the waist of Harpers pants. Dylan thought the engineer was going to jump out of his skin. Harper thrashed back and forth, but Bobby used his hands to pull the smaller mans body flush against his, effectively stilling his struggle while whispering something into his ear.

_How to get rid of a loser boyfriend in five easy lessons by Seamus Harper. One, two, three, four, **five.**_ In his usual less-than-subtle way, Harper had hinted at what Bobby was really about. By the time Harper had gotten to five, he was pointing his gun at the groin area. Hed said five with such derision. And hed completely missed it.

Noticing his guard had momentarily left him, he started frantically searching for something to use as a substitute key. Coming up empty handed, his anger boiled over and he slammed his fist into the deck grating, taking little comfort in the pain now pulsing up his arm. More helpless vocalizations from Harper drew his attention once again to the front of the ship. In the short period of time Bobby had managed to unbuckle the belt on Harpers pants. Fearing what would happen if he didnt act now, Dylan took a deep breath, preparing to yell for all he was worth.

Hurried steps on the deck above sharply drew his attention. Looking up, he saw Lem come furtively into view, hesitate, then drop something metallic through the deck and run off again. The key! Maybe Beka had been able to convince Lem to let him go, wherever she was.

Pulling himself out of his prison, Dylan was more than ready to take on Bobby. Hey! I thought I told you to take your filthy hands off of him! Marching up to the half human, Dylan grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him off of the young man, anger fueling his strength. A quick glance at Harper told Dylan all he needed to know. Bobby had seriously damaged him. Thats all there was to it.

You think you scare me Dylan Hunt? You cant do anything to me. With this new body, Im stronger than anything youve ever encountered before.

Youre certainly not any smarter, though. Bobby had a short fuse. That was his weakness. Side stepping as Bobby lunged at him, he twisted and grabbed Bobby, using his momentum to propel him face first into the wall.

Pushing off the wall, Bobby jerked his head back, connecting solidly with Dylans jaw. He stumbled, and Bobby used that to knock him to the ground and wrap one massive hand around his throat, cutting off his oxygen supply.

Did you honestly think you could beat me? You really are arrogant. Let me tell you whats going to happen. First, his voice quieted, and he leaned closer to Dylans face. Im going to snap your neck like a Than grub. Second, Im going to finish what I started with your precious engineer over there, and therell be nothing anyone can do to stop me. The feral look in his eyes chilled Dylan to the core.

With the last little bit of oxygen he could suck in, the captain spat into Bobbys face, loosening his grip enough for him to gouge Bobbys remaining eye and scramble out from under him.

Whats wrong, Captain, Bobby growled as he drew himself to his feet. Want him all for yourself?

Appalled, but not particularly surprised Bobby would say something like that, Dylan replied, Not everyone thinks like you Bobby. Youre sick. Trying to keep him occupied, he looked for anything that could be used as a weapon. He wasnt stupid. He also knew there was no way he could beat Bobby Jensen in a fair fight. The thick electrical cable caught his attention. He wasnt sure how many volts of electricity were pumped through there, but he knew it would be more than enough.

I think youre the one thats sick, Captain. Ya know, its not healthy to ignore those feelings. I tried suppressing it. Didnt work. Come on. I know you want to try. Bobby eyed Harper again with, what was that, lust? Wanting to draw this out no longer, Dylan jerked the cable from the wall and pushed it into Bobbys side.

Sparks flew, and the half robot body started to convulse as thousands of volts of electrical current flooded through it, frying and fusing together all the electrical circuits. The distinct tang of burning flesh filled the air as the non electrical parts also burned. Jumping clear as the body fell heavily to the deck, Dylan grabbed the cable and shoved the open end of it behind the railing, out of the way.

His heart leapt into his throat when he looked at Harper. The young man was pale, his eyes wide, chest heaving. He was frozen to the spot, transfixed by Dylan.

Harper? He spoke softly to the engineer, making sure his attention was focused on the here and now. He moved towards him, intent on untying his wrists.

No, no, no. Harpers head slowly shook side to side as he softly repeated the single syllable over again. Please, get away from me.

He stopped in his tracks. Of all the reactions hed been expecting from Harper, fear wasnt one of them. He held his hands out infront of him in a placating gesture. Harper, I just want to untie you.

No. Please go away. Dont hurt me anymore.

Trying not to show the distress he was feeling on his face, Dylan tried a different approach. Harper, do you know who I am?

Youre Bobby. Please leave me alone.

No, Im not Harper. My name is Dylan Hunt. Youre captain. Im not going to hurt you. Do you understand?

There was a moment of silence as Harper contemplated this new information. The name was familiar. It didnt evoke any feelings of fear in him like the name Bobby did. He knew who Dylan was. Of course hed never hurt him. Dylan?

The relief on Harpers face as he realized who Dylan was caused the breath to whoosh from his chest. He was slowly making progress. I want to untie you, okay?

Seeming to think this over, Harper hesitantly nodded. Slowly moving to untie the bonds, Dylan tried to make as little contact with Harpers hands as possible, but he couldnt help but notice how cold they felt. Damn. Hed need something to cut these wires with.

Hey guys, you back here? An obviously feminine voice called out. Beka. Hed completely forgotten about her.

Boss, dont let her see me like this, please, Harper pleaded, indicating to his pants, which loosely hung from his lower hips, barely covering him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Whats wrong with Harper. It was a statement, not a question. Shed seen Harper hurt. Shed seen him sick. Shed seen him at his most excited or scared, but shed never seen him like this.

The feral young man shed first brought aboard the Maru had been skittish and fearful, but at the same time had possessed a sarcastic sense of humour and was a survivor. A fighter. Now, he was a shadow of his former self. Since shed come around that corner to the cockpit and had seen Dylan move quickly away from Harper, shed known something was terribly wrong. Harper had been pale, unfocussed, and for the most part unresponsive, giving only one word answers and never making eye contact with her.

Then there was the flinch. She had approached to uncut the wires binding him when hed shied away from her. Fine tremors moved through his slight body. Then Dylan took the knife from her. Took it away from her! What did he think she was going to do with it?

Dylan had ushered Harper away and she found herself piloting the Maru back to Andromeda, feeling sore, empty and alone. The love of her life, dead. Her muscles burning from having to deal with Margot. Her best friend acting like she belonged to the Drago-Kasov. Getting answers from Dylan was less likely to happen than a Nightsider tossing a throne to a homeless human.

Harper had a run in with Bobby. She had been able to figure that part out for herself.

Yeah, and?

Thats something hes going to have to tell you himself.

What?! Dylan, I have known Harper way the hell longer than you have! Hes practically a brother to me. If theres something going on with him, I have a right to know!

Beka, I can understand youre upset. Really, I do. But would you have me break Harpers trust? Would you expect me to break the trust of any of my crew simply because another crew member asked?

I am hardly another crew member. I was, still am, _his_ captain. He tells me everything.

Dylans subdued, Not this time, effectively quieted her. She blinked, and a single tear traced its way down her pale skin.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Harper sat in his quarters, staring numbly at a shelf of assorted tools, not really seeing them. The arrival back at Andromeda was like a dream. Dylan had quietly escorted him to his quarters, telling him to rest and that hed be back to talk. Tyr had shot a curious look at them as they passed him in the hall, but didnt say anything. Harper was glad Trance was away on a mission and wouldnt see him like this.

Harper, what are you still doing up? Andromeda materialized into existence next to his bed. He nearly jumped out of his skin. Its two in the morning.

So Dylan hadnt told the ship about his encounter. Would wonders never cease? I couldnt sleep.

No kidding. You know, Harper. If you spent half as much time sleeping as you do tinkering with machinery or trying to get girls into bed...

He tensed at the ships implication. Getting someone into bed meant having sex with them, and that would make him vulnerable. Like hed been with Bobby. Vulnerable and helpless. Well he just wouldnt let that happen again.

Leave me alone, he whispered, pulling his knees to his chest.

Andromeda frowned. This was not like her engineer. Harper, is there something you want to talk about?

Engage privacy mode. He looked at his feet so he wouldnt see the hurt expression he knew would be visible on her face. The last thing he wanted to do was try to explain to a computer the emotional turbulence caused by his encounter with Bobby.

o-o-o-o-o-o

The constant chattering of dozens of voices, glasses chinking and incessant alien instrumental music was only barely drowned out by the high-pitched voice of Tashi Yonn, quite possible the most beautiful woman Harper had ever seen. Except for the fact she wanted something from him that he could no longer give. Something he might never be able to give again without seeing, hearing, or worse yet, smelling Bobby Jensen. The minds eye could act as a gift, replaying happy scenes from ones past, or as a curse, replaying nightmares. More specifically, the same nightmare hed had each night for the past two weeks.

Beka stood with Dylan, politely smiling and pretending to look interested as the ambassador to the planet Kalienne explained all the factors currently causing the planets economy to slowly decline. If there was one thing she hated, it was attending these frequent gatherings in an attempt to restore the lost Commonwealth.

She turned her attention to her young engineer, who stood with Tashi, and frowned. There were two constants in her life. First, the knowledge that when she got up in the morning, space would still be a vacuum. Second, Harper will chase anything with curves in all the right places. Then why did he look like he was being forced to drink poison and not wine? His body language was all wrong too. He was tense, like he was expecting a Magog to jump out from under the table, and everytime she moved closer to him, hed take a step back.

Hello... Andromeda to Beka, do you read? She blinked. Apparently the ambassador had left and Dylan was trying to get her attention.

What?

I asked if you heard a word the ambassador said. I think I just got my answer.

She had the good grace to look ashamed. But only for half a second. I was watching Harper. Does he seem alright to you?

Dylan glanced over at him. His discomfort was being broadcast in waves. He does look a bit nervous. Was that ever an understatement.

Not just that. Have you ever not seen him throw himself at a beautiful woman? Its more than that though. She took a moment to look more closely at him. I know for a fact when he first got that suit last year it fit him perfectly. Now, its too big. Hes even punched an extra hole into the belt to keep his pants up. And I havent seen him eat anything all evening. Im not blind, Dylan. Spill it.

He too had noticed Harpers weight loss, pale skin tone, and personality change. Hed hoped that Harper would recover. Hed given up on trying to talk to him. It seemed Harper had developed a generalized fear of men. There was one thing Harper had reiterated during every broken conversation. It was that he not tell anyone.

He was saved from having to stave off Bekas inquiries by the sudden death of the music as somewhere a glass broke and Harper flew from the room, leaving an angry looking Tashi behind.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Harper! I know youre in there! She knew it was futile, but was hoping that by some fluke, Harper would come to his senses and open the door. She had left the party while Dylan tried to explain to Tashi the fact that not all humans were attracted to her, which she felt was hard to believe. Since then, the engineer had locked himself in his quarters. The sound of tools being thrown around only heightened her concern. Open this door before I pull it open with my bare hands and pound your scrawny ass into the deck plates!

Like you care! was the reply she got. Harper might be able to lock a door, but she sure as hell was able to open one.

The sight that greeted her was one she hoped never to see again. Tools were haphazardly strewn all over the deck, tables overturned, and Harper himself was a mess. Perspiration mixed with tears as it ran down his face. His eyes were red-rimmed and overly bright, standing out in frightening contrast to his pasty complexion. His suit tie had been discarded, and his shirt partially unbuttoned. His chest heaved with the exertion of destroying his room.

Harper, I want to know whats going on and I want to know now. And dont tell me it was something Tashi said, youve been acting strange since the Maru and Bobby.

If possible, he seemed to pale further at the mention of his name, but seemed to respond to the angry tone in her voice. You want to know? All of a sudden youre interested in what I have to say?! I dont believe you!

What are you talking about? I always listen to what you have to say!

He laughed humourlessly. Dull eyes staring into her confused ones. I tried to tell you. Dylan too. But no one listened! Look what happened. His lip started to quiver.

She started to remember a similar conversation. Wait. Is this about Bobby? Is this why youre upset? This is one hell of an overreaction, Harper. So Bobby betrayed my trust and I didnt pay attention to your paranoid ramblings in the first place. How many times have I brushed off your paranoid ideas? Theres no need for this childish behaviour.

Her words ignited a sharp pain in his chest and tightened his gut. She really had no idea why he was so upset. Bobby did this! I told you and Dylan what he was about! No one listened, look what he did! His voice started to tremble.

I dont get it, Harper! What is it he did? She didnt understand why he was reacting so badly to this.

He... he raped me! His voice broke.

No. God no. Her words died in her throat. There was no way Bobby would have done something like that. She would have known! She knew each and every one of her crew members. She especially knew Bobby. How could she have been so blind? His sudden aversion to any female that showed an interest in more than friendship, his skittish behaviour around Tyr and Dylan, it all made sense now. Tears welled in her eyes.

He stood in the middle of the room, starting to openly sob. It was the most heart-wrenching sound shed ever heard. Without thinking twice, she walked the last few steps to him and enveloped him in a powerful hug. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

I couldnt stop him! I tried to fight back, I really did. I didnt want him to do that, I swear! he sobbed into her shirt.

Oh god, Harper. Im so sorry this happened to you! She could feel his body slacken as he released his grief, and lead him over to the bed. Sitting him down, she rubbed his back in soothing circles and made soft noises until he quieted. Slowly, the tremors subsided and he slumped against her. Weeks worth of fear, exhaustion and little food won out and he only had the energy to rest his head on her shoulder.

Harper, why didnt you say anything to me? Youve been going through this alone ever since? No wonder he was in such bad shape.

Bobby was the love of your life. Between him or me, a worthless mudfoot from earth, you picked me. It eventually lead to Bobbys death. I didnt want to burden you with the knowledge of what he did to me. She started to voice a protest at his excuse. And I was ashamed.

She couldnt help her sudden intake of breath. Harper. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand?

I... I couldnt defend myself. I couldnt make my case about Bobby to you or Dylan, and I couldnt fight him off. Dylan would have been able to.

Stop that thought right there. Do not compare yourself to Dylan. Not even he could have stopped something like that. He barely got away with his life considering Bobby was half android. You might be small, but you are the strongest person I know. I mean that, Harper.

She sat for what seemed like a year, thinking about how blinded by love she had been, and how guilty she was going to feel once the whole thing sunk in. When she was sure Harper was asleep, she asked Andromeda to leave a message for Dylan not to disturb them. Not wanting to go back to her quarters, or leave her engineer alone, she gently lowered him to the bed and bent over to pull his legs up. Positioning him on his side, she lay down behind him and tightly wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling his smaller body flush against her. Resting her chin a top his head, she heaved a sigh and closed her eyes. There was nothing sexual about her act or her intentions. Harper was a little brother to her, and it was time he started to remember that touch could heal.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was early the next morning a quiet tapping roused her from a dream-filled sleep. Disentangling herself from Harper, she went to the door and found a concerned looking Dylan there. Stepping into the corridor, she allowed the door to close behind her.

Hows he doing? he quietly asked.

As well as can be expected. Hes resting right now.

So I gather he told you what happened?

She quietly nodded, biting her bottom lip.

And how are you doing?

How did this happen? How could we have allowed this?

Dont blame yourself, Beka. Unless you have psychic powers and can see into the future, you couldnt have prevented it, he tried to reassure her.

I may not have special powers, Dylan, but I, we, should have listened to him.

Dylan sighed. That same problem had been nagging at him. With Harper being from earth, he naturally had paranoid tendencies which were usually ignored.

Have you ever heard the story about the boy who cried wolf?

Her jaw hardened as she became angry. Hes not some little boy trying to play tricks on people. Its not like hes been telling lies to...

I know, thats not what I meant. Just that the principles are the same. If someone says something often enough, people stop paying attention. Hell be alright, Beka.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Dylan entered the mess hall a week later and was glad, if not surprised to see Harper sitting at the table picking at what looked like a piece of chicken.

You know, I dont think that chicken will taste any better if its aerated, he joked, coming up beside Harper. He immediately regretted not announcing his presence as the engineer gasped, and jolted upright, a flash of fear flitting across his eyes before recognition set in.

Rommie wants me to eat more. Truthfully? Im not hungry. Im sick of this disgusting auto-chef crap.

Dylan grinned. What dont you tell me what you really think about the ships food. You do look kind of thin, Harper. But, I have the perfect solution for that. Harpers eyebrows rose slightly. Chocolate. I keep a few bars in my quarters. Come on.

Its a start, Dylan thought as Harper excitedly followed him through the corridor. Harper was showing more trust in him and Tyr, and was recovering faster now that Beka was able to offer him comfort. Maybe things would be alright after all.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Let me know what you thought! No, I havent forgotten about Minds Eye, this story just pushed it out of the way for a bit.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Boy Who Cried Wolf Fable, its basically about what the title implies. A little boy keeps running into the village claiming a wolf is coming to attack the sheep (Im pretty sure it was sheep) so the first few times the towns people respond and run out to fend off the wolf. This is funny to the boy, but after a while the towns people catch on and ignore him until a wolf really does come and when he tries to warn them, no one listens. Bye bye sheep.


End file.
